A Small Steady Voice

by Dubby Riley

A funny thing happened on my way to my next breath. I caught myself pausing to appreciate the space between. The frames of all the images in my head softened. The edges of all the tactile impressions extending out from me blurred and the little me grew smaller.

Who is that BIGGER me watching? An energy...an interconnected community of living intelligence--capable of forgiving anything and everything and laughing at the fecklessness of judgement. The utterly useless, futile, contemptible and pointless act of judging things as "right" or "wrong" is a burden and baggage which should be left behind. That doesn't mean we shouldn't learn to be happy and productive and good steward's of the planet. It's more about letting go of negativity. Face problems, understand them and find solutions.

Our Smiling Heart community is growing slowly. We have visitors who are new. Most of them remain invisible and choose not to contribute, for now. But folks are looking in, poking around, going through old posts. Unfamiliar faces are deciphering signals and putting the story together of these few authors and extended community of "commentors." Here is our message to everyone reading--Put a smile of hope in your heart!

Some have suggested that forces outside of us are at play and that these forces influence circumstances of the natural world. Perhaps some planetary attractions, lunar cycles, psychic phenomena are wreaking havoc on our dispositions. How would we know whether or not some rythmic drumming or celestial dance isn't permeating our moods and emotions?

As the world watches the unfolding of the worst man made ecological catastrophe ever to occur on our planet, it is understandable that we inherit despondency. Other events which have saturated the fabric of socio-economic conditions such as financial upheaval and the "creeping" spread of corporate power and influence put tremendous pressure on individuals. Half of the world population, about 3.5 billion people live on less than $2.50 per day. The richest 20% accounts for 3/4 of the world's income. A large percentage (perhaps 90% or more of us individuals who are blessed to be in the top twenty, ten or even five percent of the richest people on the planet) are also struggling to balance our finances.

Less dramatic from a global perspective but every bit as real for the individuals who experience pain are our personal struggles. Players suffering from disaster and heartache, personal loss and tragedy, such as death of a loved one, a sad twist in a love-life or even an isolated case of depression--must admit that we humans suffer. Buddhists call it the human condition.

So whether or not illusive energies and angelic forces are strangely permeating our culture, a negative and dark human-behavioral storm has been gathering momentum for quite some time.

In the midst of such anguish and turmoil a sweet and charming voice has been providing a background song. Celebrities occasionally join forces with grand productions such as WE ARE THE WORLD. Even Coke managed to infiltrate our higher consciousness with its bizarre suggestion that by drinking some brown sugar water, we'll find peace. But always, without once being disconnected from it, we've stayed attuned to a delicate note of hope.

I think great things can come from small voices. Humans may lose their foothold as the arbiters of planetary sanity. Quite frankly, I think the rest of the world species would benefit by the demise of the human experiment.

So it really isn't a matter of saving the planet. She'll do exceedingly well without us, thank you very much. But the question becomes: Is human culture worth saving?

Busy, Busy, Busy

From Jo Floyd Lucas

It seems we’re living in a pressure cooker atmosphere these days, doesn’t it? I’ve heard from quite a few friends lately that we all seem to be burdened by more than our fair share of troubles and turmoil at the moment. Either we’re overloaded with personal issues or overloaded with professional issues, or both. Even if neither of those seems to be the case, the environmental disaster in the gulf has broken the hearts of many others.

Maybe, as some would say, this roiling atmosphere is being caused by the planetary formations right now. It’s possible that the intensity of our situations is magnified by the summer solstice. Some have even suggested that God is trying to tell us something. Me? I’ve given up on the explanations. Why ask why?

I have come to realize, to my great consternation, that I cannot control much, if any, of that which is going on around me, but I’ve also realized, with great relief, that I can mitigate the angst by my response to the turmoil.

How do you respond? By staying busy, so as not to notice your own discomfort? By becoming grouchy, short, or emotionally distant from your loved ones, so as not to feel the pain? By placing blame, so as not to feel responsible? All of these responses serve to momentarily assuage the feelings, but lead us straight to the edge of the cliff in the long run. Back away from the cliff, friends.

Take care of yourselves.

A few months ago, I was convinced that spare time was for others. Not me. I was the consummate homemaker, mother, grandmother, friend, volunteer, and community activist. I was too busy. Busy, busy, busy. Deep down, I knew I was overloaded, but life is sneaky that way. Despite our best efforts to live with intent, little by little we find ourselves giving in to the mounting pressures. My response to the stress causing me to feel exhausted, overweight, and mentally fragmented? Ignore it and move on! Really. Well, we can only ignore our situation for so long before we are finally forced to see the necessity to change.

To some, this insight comes over time. To some, it comes as a response to illness or injury. To others, this insight comes instantly without explanation. That’s how it was for me. It was like someone flipped a switch inside my head. That’s how instant and absolute it was. I was doing something quite mundane (unloading groceries) when I suddenly realized I had been unkind…to myself. I would never have let anyone treat a friend or loved one the way I had treated myself. In that instant, as corny and simplistic as it sounds, I changed.

I immediately determined that I would begin to allow myself to do three things; enjoy nature again (as I had done so completely and utterly as a child), eat foods that nourished my body and mind (not just those that were on hand or convenient), and allow myself more time to read for pleasure (‘pleasure’ often meaning in pursuit of knowledge, which I crave like sugar). Three little things I gave myself permission to do.

The concept of ‘spare time’ is, of course, a fallacy. We all have the same amount of time each day. We all structure this time according to our own wants, needs, and interests. Not a minute of it is extra, and each one is precious. Some of those minutes are set aside to care for your loved ones, so put your name on that list.

When was the last time you took a walk…alone? Yes, alone. Completely alone. No fair walking the dog or pushing the baby carriage. No iPod. No phone. Take a short walk and listen, instead, to the glorious music of nature. Walk with your body erect and your head high. It takes only as long as you want…give yourself fifteen minutes to experience something as wondrously simple as the honey bee on the flower. Your soul will thank you.

When was the last time you took joy in preparing food that grew from the earth? Smelling a melon, slicing a ripe tomato, or eating a few berries can bring so much more satisfaction to your body than unwrapping a package. Wean yourself off processed foods and turn back to the foods most of us used to eat...real foods. You’ll be surprised at how quickly your body responds.

When was the last time you picked up a book for the sheer joy of discovering the way the words roll off your tongue? Even children’s books are sometimes written with the skill of a poet, and shouldn’t be overlooked as great literature. From Rumi to Redbook to Dr. Seuss, enjoy a few words for your own pleasure each day. Your mind will be sharper and your mood brighter.

Give yourself permission to be on your list of loved ones. Find the three things you want to allow yourself to do, then do those things--guilt-free. We may not be able to solve all the problems we’re faced with, but if we pay more attention to our own well being, maybe we’ll create a little more peace within ourselves, be just a little bit healthier, and receive just a little more insight in the process.

As my dear friend, Freddy, said so well:

Give love
Give love
Give love

Love dares you to care
for the people on the edge
of the night, and

Love dares you to change
our way of caring
about ourselves.

This is our last dance.
This is ourselves...

under pressure.

John Martyn with Kathy Mattea - May You Never

By Rick Hempy

It's been an extraordinary week. The cosmic joker has been busy. After having to replace an air conditioner the week before, our hot water heater sprung a leak and had to be replaced also. Friday night, in the middle of a live performance, my PA shot craps. "Stuff" seems to be coming apart all around me.

I know that this blog is about "Smiling Heart"(s), but this has been sort of a "grim and bear it" week. Through it all, my friends have been there. Many thanks to you all.

So here is a wish for you... my friends...

Meet my dad

By Nancy Kotsifakis

The last time I saw my dad alive, we hugged and I got to tell him how much I loved him. The next time I saw him I was smoothing down a lone gray hair on his eyebrow as he lay still in death, and I knew that this body was not my dad. The soul of my father with all of his stories was the man I missed. He had an incredible memory and was one of those that could remember and embellish a joke so well that you would not recognize that it was the same joke you told him a year ago. He loved to make people laugh. My mom put on a variety show for her church and just handed a microphone to my dad between acts. Without a script he just went from one joke to another - 'almost like a vaudeville act - and it made me join this church' one person mentioned at his funeral. I honestly think my father would have made a joke about the manner in which he died. He just 'dropped' dead as he was washing his hands for lunch. It was horrible for everyone especially my mom trying to revive him, my brother taking 3 phone calls to complete the sentence telling me he died - all of us were crushed. I walked around that funeral holding a big box of kleenex - for I had lost the man who taught me that I could do anything I had my heart set to do.

My dad would sit for hours everynight and explain scientific things to me - things such as how a TV worked, or on summer nights we would talk about everything under the stars. As a very small girl I would understand some very complex things from my dad - and he never told me that I was too young to understand. Of course, I might forget half of the explanation before I walked halfway down the hallway - but still for that fleeting moment I would really understand, and it led to my love of science and math and all things logical (music is such a part of math and logic to me as well).

My dad came from Crete when he was 6 years old (Petros Cotsifaki as listed above). He remembers days walking on that island, the trip on an Italian boat to the 'promised land' of America, and Ellis Island. During the trip he was tasked to take care of a little girl, and wanting to run around the boat instead - tied her up to a pole so he could run off and play. During that time the water started rising in this room, and he got into all kinds of trouble - but the Italian crew stood up for him and helped him hide from the irate mom -- the girl was just fine, but it was very scary! When he arrived at Ellis Island with his mom and 2 brothers, he was had to go off exploring on his own. The officers decided to divide the group in half and send them in two different directions. No one spoke English at the time, but his mom could see that my dad was on the other 'half' and that this other half was being herded to an entirely different process. She cried, and tried to plead her case to the officer's that did not speak Greek. Finally, my dad remembers that she opened up her blouse to reveal a breast and pointed at my dad - the officer made the connection, and probably never saw THAT kind of communication before!

My dad's father had to send the family to the US ahead of time, and they were instructed to take the train west as far as their money would take them. He joined them in Hanna, Wyoming where many other Greek families settled together - a community of Greek speaking people. My dad's father took a lunch sack everyday to the coal mine entrance until they eventually hired him. My dad was such a proud American, he spearheaded his own paperwork as a child, and was shocked when his paperwork was returned 'the name of the boat you put down is not the one you came in on'. Well, he thought...if they know THAT, then let THEM tell ME what boat it was! Unfortunately, things don't work that way in govt. and he eventually found someone who was on the boat so he could get the paperwork resolved. In the meantime he schooled the neighborhood kids on American history, and the boss of the coal mine took him and some of his friends under his wing to let them research subjects from his personal library. My dad said that he learned quickly not to ask questions because the answer was always, 'look it up'! Back to becoming an American - when the test day came for my dad and his friends, they got a ride to Rawlins and my dad was so confident and ready for this test he just couldn't wait. He knew all about the presidents, everything....but the judge said, 'I have only one question for you, and if you get it right that is all I will ask'. Well, the question was 'who funded the building of our new Rawlins courthouse?' My dad was crushed, he had no idea....heck he lived many miles away in Hanna and I doubt the newspaper was anything he spent time with as a kid.

Skipping past many more stories, my father was in WWII, and got a bronze star for 'shaving 2 1/2 years off the war' (as he remembers the letter saying - burned in the St. Louis fire, and lost in the Ruskin tornado). He worked on the airplanes and avionics - but had figured out a way to improve target accuracy and also to turn the airplanes around quicker (so he could get more sleep, he said). This is the same guy that twisted an old antenna around to heat up as a makeshift toaster. He went on to invent many things at Bendix and when he later opened an Avionics shop, he invented a Pitot Static tester that was portable and more accurate than standards even today. He envisioned making money for us, but that never happened. Instead, we got a better deal - to see this incredible mind at work, and his knack for finding the best in all people and events. I never saw him down or defeated - he was always looking at life with a positive attitude.

As my dad....zoom past alot more stories to the days I was 1 1/2 years old, and would just stop breathing. My father studied for his electronics degree from KU at night next to my bedside to make sure I kept breathing. Eventually - after more horror stories, they found my problem to be a very bad tonsil infection. My dad was the one I called at night the first time my foot 'went to sleep' ....this was something for dad, 'there are ANTS crawling all over my feet!', and he just chuckled but set my mind at rest as he explained this phenomenon.

I am writing this as I cook a special dinner with my dad in my heart, and just wanted to share some of my special memories. I inherited my dad's love for ice cream - and oh yes, when I look in the mirror now, I see this wild stray gray hair on my brow that I am so proud of. Thanks for everything, dad - you have been on my mind all day, and these wonderful new and old friends have made Father's day special for me once more!

time to choose